Beauty Maxxing: The Lost Art of Being Your Own Kind of Beautiful

Beauty maxxing.

It’s the phrase that’s been floating around social media for a while now, and I just so happen to stumble upon it recently. I thought, “Finally… a trend I can get with.” At least… that’s what I thought.

Then while I was scrolling, I came across a tweet that said something along the lines of, “Please stop normalizing incel vocabulary.”

My immediate thought was, “Incel? What the heck is that?” So, naturally, I looked it up.

Incel: a person (typically a man) who identifies as involuntarily celibate and often expresses resentment or hostility toward people who are sexually active.

Well…

Damn.

That was definitely not the rabbit hole I intended to go down. The more videos I watched, the more I realized people weren’t just debating a trending phrase. They were talking about where it came from, who popularized it, and the kind of online spaces it had become associated with. Needless to say, this wasn’t the beauty conversation I had in mind; however, I became invested.

A few Tiktok posts later, I found myself on a side of the internet I didn’t even know existed. Apparently, the term beauty maxxing is often associated with looksmaxxing, a phrase that originated in certain online communities where people analyze facial symmetry, jawlines, eye shape, attractiveness ratings, and even something called “sexual market value” to a degree that felt so exhausting.

The more I read, the more I understood why some people cringe when they hear the phrase. At the same time, I couldn’t help but think, I don’t believe that’s what most women mean when they say it. At least, it wasn’t what I meant. I truly thought beauty maxxing meant maximizing your natural beauty.

And by natural beauty, I mean wearing your natural hair, keeping the makeup soft—or skipping it altogether—wearing clothes that flatter your body no matter your size or shape, figuring out what actually works for your face, and not feeling obligated to chase every trend. The only way I know how to describe it is… 90s Fine, baby! If you know, you know.

Women back then had their own unique beauty and style. Less was more. Individuality was a thing. People weren’t trying to look like everybody else. They were the trend. Do you hear me!! And they ate down doing what today would probably be considered the bare minimum.

When Beauty Became Something to Optimize

Of course, the beauty landscape has changed. These days, the beauty toolkit is a lot bigger than it used to be. Alongside makeup and skincare, conversations now include Botox, fillers, laser treatments, body contouring, skin tightening, and all kinds of aesthetic procedures that have become increasingly common. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those choices, but I do think they’ve kind of changed the way many of us think about beauty. Sometimes it feels less like enhancing what we have and more like searching for what still needs to be improved.

To me, beauty was never about changing yourself. It was all about refining what was already there.

To me, beauty was never about changing yourself. It was all about refining what was already there—taking care of yourself, learning what complements your features instead of borrowing someone else’s, and growing more confident in the woman staring back at you in the mirror. It also made me realize how much I miss seeing women embrace what made them look like themselves.

My Relationship With Beauty Has Changed

Now, before anybody starts clutching their pearls, let me be clear. This isn’t one of those “women wear too much makeup these days” conversations, because that’s not what I’m saying. Wear the lashes, the extensions, and the red lipstick. Do whatever makes you feel beautiful.

Trust me, I enjoy beauty just as much as the next woman. I’ve bought the products, saved the Pinterest boards, tried the routines, and I’ll probably keep doing it because I genuinely enjoy discovering things that make me feel good. The funny thing is, long before I ever heard the phrase beauty maxxing, I was already writing about maximizing your natural beauty through small, everyday habits. I even put together a list of my favorites in 25 Epic Beauty Habits That Will Transform Your Life.

What has changed is the way I think about it. I’m finding myself less interested in chasing what’s trending and more interested in understanding what genuinely complements me.

That’s what I’m talking about here. It feels like somewhere along the way, we traded individuality for uniformity. The same makeup, same clothes, same hairstyles, same aesthetic, same everything. And maybe that’s why this conversation wouldn’t let me go. Because the beauty I’ve always admired looked a little different.

It wasn’t about looking perfect. It was about looking unmistakably… yourself.

Maybe it’s because we’re surrounded by inspiration every time we pick up our phones. I know I am. I’ve bookmarked posts, watched countless YouTube and TikTok tutorials, and bought products because someone I trusted said they were worth it. There’s nothing wrong with that—I still enjoy discovering new things—but every now and then I catch myself wondering whether I actually like something or whether I’ve simply seen it so many times that it feels familiar.

I don’t remember having this struggle growing up. Of course there were trends, and we all wanted the shoes, hairstyles, or outfits we saw on our favorite singers and actresses. The difference, at least from where I was standing, was that people seemed to filter those trends through their own personalities instead of trying to recreate someone else’s entire look. You could admire somebody’s style without feeling like you needed to become them.

Everyone Had Their Own Signature

When I think about the women I admired, what stands out isn’t that they were all beautiful. It’s that they were beautiful in completely different ways. There was the woman with the sleek asymmetrical bob, barely-there makeup, and a quiet confidence that never begged for attention. Another embraced bold colors, statement nails, and fashion that turned heads because she wasn’t afraid to take up space. Then there was the effortlessly cool girl who could throw on baggy jeans, a crop top, Timberlands, and somehow make relaxed look feminine without trying.

None of them looked like they were chasing the same idea of beauty. They each had their own lane, and they stayed in it. Looking back, I think that’s what made them so memorable. Their style reflected their personality, and that’s what made it unforgettable.

That’s What I Miss Most

Looking back, I think that’s what I miss the most. I miss when beauty felt personal—when it seemed less about fitting into one aesthetic and more about discovering what made you feel comfortable in your own skin. Nobody needed to have the same hair, the same wardrobe, or the same routine to be considered beautiful. Over time, the little choices they made became part of what people remembered them for.

When I think about the women whose beauty has stayed with me over the years, it has very little to do with whether they were wearing the latest trend or using the newest product. What I remember is how comfortable they seemed in their own skin. Confidence. There was something about them that felt settled. They knew what they liked, they trusted their own taste, and they didn’t seem to need permission to do them.

I don’t think it comes from trying to become someone new every few months. I think it comes from paying attention to yourself long enough to figure out what actually reflects you. That takes time, and if I’m honest, I don’t think it’s something an algorithm can teach.

Beauty With Intention

For me, beauty is less about transformation and more about intention. I don’t need a cabinet overflowing with products if a handful of really good ones take care of my skin. I’d rather have a closet filled with pieces I genuinely love than one overflowing with clothes I never think to wear. I’d rather spend my energy learning what fits my life than trying to keep up with what’s changing every season.

Refining, Not Reinventing

That’s probably why I misunderstood the phrase beauty maxxing in the first place. When I first heard beauty maxxing, I really thought we were talking about taking better care of ourselves—maximizing what we already have instead of constantly chasing what we don’t. Those feel like two completely different approaches to beauty.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I’ve become a lot more selective than I used to be. I don’t feel the need to try something just because everybody else loves it anymore. These days, I’m much more interested in figuring out whether it actually fits me—my personality, my lifestyle, my face, my body, and the woman I want to be.

Maybe I’ve had the wrong definition all along.

Or maybe I’ve had the right one for me.

I think we’ve been taught to approach beauty backwards. We spend so much time looking for products that promise to change us that we rarely stop to learn the features we’re trying to improve in the first place.

What if maximizing your beauty started with observation instead of alteration?

What if you took the time to learn which haircut naturally frames your face, which fabrics flatter your shape, which jewelry complements your complexion, or which makeup techniques enhance your features instead of masking them? Those answers won’t be the same for everyone, and that’s exactly the point.

The women I admired didn’t all share the same face, body type, or style, but they seemed to share one thing in common: they understood how to bring out the best in what they already had. That’s why their beauty felt so effortless. It wasn’t because they were naturally more beautiful than everyone else. It was because they knew how to complement what they already had. I think that’s what made so many women from the ’90s so memorable.

That’s what maximizing your natural beauty means to me—not chasing perfection, but learning to work in harmony with the features that already make you, you.

Maybe the lost art was merely the simplicity of it all. Finding what worked, wearing it well, and never feeling like you had to do the absolute most to be beautiful.

Maybe that’s why 90s Fine still resonates with me. It reminds me that sometimes the most beautiful thing you can do is let your own beauty speak for itself.

Just your own kind of beautiful.